Posts Tagged ‘#succeed’

Lesson of the day:

If you pay close attention, you’ll actually witness you sabotaging yourself.

This is something I’ve struggled with and been a witness to for several years now. It started maybe 6 to 7 years ago when I met this wonderful girl (and I say wonderful now cause time dulled the experience, back then she was psychotic, neurotic, demanding, the list goes on and on).

Our second date was a drive to Toronto, not even 30min into it there was a long silent moment and then she just lets it out… “why do you sabotage yourself”? She didn’t know me for shit so my response was… “what the fuck”?! But she called it. She saw something I couldn’t see. I would have sworn that there was no way someone like myself would ever be doing that. I just landed a 6 figure salary job, I’ve already graduated a chemical engineering program and went back for a second tour for business. How the fuck am I sabotaging myself?!

Long story short, and the reason why everyone needs a life coach of some sorts (and I can recommend an amazing one by the way, she’s taken me from a 2 to a 7 in less than an hour on the phone, and she takes calls from anywhere in the world, especially when it’s an emergency). So since then, I’ve been in reflecting, a lot. From Esther (Abraham) Hicks to Eckhart Tolle to a library full of books to all sorts of hypnosis, meditation, the list goes on and on. Well, until I found Landmark, which changed my life, which led me to Sterling, again life changer, well all the way up to this moment.

I’ve been in a rut. Why? Well simple really, I’m not doing the work. I’ll share a secret with you. The secret to getting everything you ever wanted. It’s gonna sound silly, and simple, but life is really that simple. It’s us that complicates the fuck out of it.

“DO THE WORK” That’s it.

Now, what’s the work? Well, that’s what a skilled coach is there for. I’m still learning. I’ve been in self-development for 3 years now and the boy that was there then is now the man that is here. And I know everything now right? LOL!! The one thing I’ve learned is…

The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.

Yes, that’s my dear dear friend Albert Einstein. But that’s the truth. So I keep learning and growing.

OK so back to my sabotage rant. So if you observe closely enough, you’ll see it happening. One of the thing that you have to know in doing the work is learning to OBSERVE YOURSELF. Not easy, takes practice, but when you do it long enough you’ll start to be able to see things happening in real time.

So there I was, feeling disgruntled all day. Kinda angry, overwhelmed, frustrated. The feeling of “nothing is working out for me”. A story my brain made up. How do I know this? Well, Landmark. Training. Practice. Doing the work. So I start to observe. Break things down. I look at what my brain is saying. “Nothing is working out for me” and I compare it to the facts.

Facts:

– I live in one of the safest countries in the world

– I have a well-paying career

– I drive one of the sickest cars

– I’m healthy

– I’m relatively young and look even younger

– I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want

– I’m planning 2 trips to any destination I fucking want in the next 2 months

– I’m car shopping for my “winter beater” and that’s always fun

The list goes on and on… But the one sticky point is…. The girl situation. That’s what’s getting me down. But it’s a catch 22. I’m single. And I’ve chosen to be single. After my last relationship, things really changed. I want THE ONE and will not settle down with just anyone. Am I not able to get girls? On the contrary, times are plentiful. Right now I’m dating, and these girls are amazing…but… Just not THE ONE. So why be bummed? I can easily make my way to one of their houses and spend an amazing night of wine, sex, and conversation. My work just invited me to a house party where there will be more than enough hot young girls. My other friend invited me to come party with her and her friends. So what the fuck is it?!

Enter the mobster dubbed self-sabotage! I don’t wanna be with any of those girls, I don’t wanna go to the party, I don’t wanna make the drive to my friends, I don’t wanna put on a costume and get shit faced and meet some amazing new girls. And yet I feel so unwanted.

Wtf?! Right?! After reflecting, and observing, I see that it’s me being 7 years old and feeling unwanted. Unwanted by my parents, by my classmates, by girls, by my brothers, by everyone. And there I am, my 7-year-old self still running the show being angry, and my not 7-year-old self using my brain to justify all the excuses I’m making to blow everyone off so I can feel this way!

How to get over this self-sabotage? In the short term, action. In the long term, doing the work. I had 10 days off work that I wanted to do my first solo trip to England. What happened? I justified the fuck out of why I shouldn’t go and didn’t. And in a month is my rematch. Planning to go somewhere hot, Costa Rica maybe? Nicaragua? I dunno. But I feel the justification kicking in so my 7 year old can sabotage the fuck out of it. How do I overcome this?? Pick a place, book the ticket, hope I make it back lol.

So there you have it. Observe close enough and you’ll see it happening. It’s all just a story, and the facts tell a whole other story.

Peace & love. Always & forever.