Archive for the ‘Today’s Lesson’ Category

Lesson of the day:

If you pay close attention, you’ll actually witness you sabotaging yourself.

This is something I’ve struggled with and been a witness to for several years now. It started maybe 6 to 7 years ago when I met this wonderful girl (and I say wonderful now cause time dulled the experience, back then she was psychotic, neurotic, demanding, the list goes on and on).

Our second date was a drive to Toronto, not even 30min into it there was a long silent moment and then she just lets it out… “why do you sabotage yourself”? She didn’t know me for shit so my response was… “what the fuck”?! But she called it. She saw something I couldn’t see. I would have sworn that there was no way someone like myself would ever be doing that. I just landed a 6 figure salary job, I’ve already graduated a chemical engineering program and went back for a second tour for business. How the fuck am I sabotaging myself?!

Long story short, and the reason why everyone needs a life coach of some sorts (and I can recommend an amazing one by the way, she’s taken me from a 2 to a 7 in less than an hour on the phone, and she takes calls from anywhere in the world, especially when it’s an emergency). So since then, I’ve been in reflecting, a lot. From Esther (Abraham) Hicks to Eckhart Tolle to a library full of books to all sorts of hypnosis, meditation, the list goes on and on. Well, until I found Landmark, which changed my life, which led me to Sterling, again life changer, well all the way up to this moment.

I’ve been in a rut. Why? Well simple really, I’m not doing the work. I’ll share a secret with you. The secret to getting everything you ever wanted. It’s gonna sound silly, and simple, but life is really that simple. It’s us that complicates the fuck out of it.

“DO THE WORK” That’s it.

Now, what’s the work? Well, that’s what a skilled coach is there for. I’m still learning. I’ve been in self-development for 3 years now and the boy that was there then is now the man that is here. And I know everything now right? LOL!! The one thing I’ve learned is…

The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.

Yes, that’s my dear dear friend Albert Einstein. But that’s the truth. So I keep learning and growing.

OK so back to my sabotage rant. So if you observe closely enough, you’ll see it happening. One of the thing that you have to know in doing the work is learning to OBSERVE YOURSELF. Not easy, takes practice, but when you do it long enough you’ll start to be able to see things happening in real time.

So there I was, feeling disgruntled all day. Kinda angry, overwhelmed, frustrated. The feeling of “nothing is working out for me”. A story my brain made up. How do I know this? Well, Landmark. Training. Practice. Doing the work. So I start to observe. Break things down. I look at what my brain is saying. “Nothing is working out for me” and I compare it to the facts.

Facts:

– I live in one of the safest countries in the world

– I have a well-paying career

– I drive one of the sickest cars

– I’m healthy

– I’m relatively young and look even younger

– I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want

– I’m planning 2 trips to any destination I fucking want in the next 2 months

– I’m car shopping for my “winter beater” and that’s always fun

The list goes on and on… But the one sticky point is…. The girl situation. That’s what’s getting me down. But it’s a catch 22. I’m single. And I’ve chosen to be single. After my last relationship, things really changed. I want THE ONE and will not settle down with just anyone. Am I not able to get girls? On the contrary, times are plentiful. Right now I’m dating, and these girls are amazing…but… Just not THE ONE. So why be bummed? I can easily make my way to one of their houses and spend an amazing night of wine, sex, and conversation. My work just invited me to a house party where there will be more than enough hot young girls. My other friend invited me to come party with her and her friends. So what the fuck is it?!

Enter the mobster dubbed self-sabotage! I don’t wanna be with any of those girls, I don’t wanna go to the party, I don’t wanna make the drive to my friends, I don’t wanna put on a costume and get shit faced and meet some amazing new girls. And yet I feel so unwanted.

Wtf?! Right?! After reflecting, and observing, I see that it’s me being 7 years old and feeling unwanted. Unwanted by my parents, by my classmates, by girls, by my brothers, by everyone. And there I am, my 7-year-old self still running the show being angry, and my not 7-year-old self using my brain to justify all the excuses I’m making to blow everyone off so I can feel this way!

How to get over this self-sabotage? In the short term, action. In the long term, doing the work. I had 10 days off work that I wanted to do my first solo trip to England. What happened? I justified the fuck out of why I shouldn’t go and didn’t. And in a month is my rematch. Planning to go somewhere hot, Costa Rica maybe? Nicaragua? I dunno. But I feel the justification kicking in so my 7 year old can sabotage the fuck out of it. How do I overcome this?? Pick a place, book the ticket, hope I make it back lol.

So there you have it. Observe close enough and you’ll see it happening. It’s all just a story, and the facts tell a whole other story.

Peace & love. Always & forever.

Lesson of the day:

There’s always a silver lining to every shitty situation, just have to open your eyes to see it.

OK, so tonight my girlfriend broke down and had to be towed back home. And by girlfriend I mean my newest baby, my car. Her name is Freya btw. Named after the Norse goddess of beauty, sex, and war. She’s German so it’s only fitting she gets a name like that. And she really is all about beauty and sex. The war, well she’s the night edition or as I say it’s a spelling mistake and it’s actually the Knight edition. Yeah, she’s a blacked out 2018 topless blacked out with cranberry red interior Merc.

Hit a massive pothole on the highway, ripped the sidewall open, thank goodness they’re run-flats! Turn around and headed back home (I was 30min out from a 3-hour drive to a meeting). Got an hour and a half to my house when the tire was totally fucked. So call the tow company, tell them I need someone to come change my tire (cause why the fuck would I do it when I pay for a service, right?!). In that time I check for the spare only to find there’s NO SPARE!

WTF, right?! Well, I guess most new cars have runflats and don’t use spares anymore. So… A flatbed towtruck it was. Yeah, I could have been pissed, but Remeber a few LOTD’s ago? Go with it even if you didn’t plan it? So how do I make the most of this?!?

BURGER KING!! Yes there was a burger king right there and I haven’t had a whopper in like 5 years… So why the fuck not!? By the time I got my whopper the tow guy was there. Hooked Freya up, I jumped in with him for the 1.5-hour drive and we were off!

And wow, what an amazing conversation we had. Racing cars, cops, law shit… Then it got only health. And I’m thinking, this old guy has a good fucking life. Not too shabby looking for an old dude and funny AF always laughing. Tells me he’s diagnosed with some bowel disease and in a matter of a year or 2 they will have to cut out his colon and he’s gotta shit in a fucking bag!!

I dunno, something about that. I was thinking of how I’d feel if I knew there was nothing I can do and in a couple years I’d be shitting in a bag. Man, I definitely wouldn’t be taking it as this guy would. I’d be depressed AS FUCK! Doing all sorts of stupid shit. Just put things into perspective.

Everyone is dealing with shit. The shit I think in dealing that’s “the end of the world” is so trivial….

Whoa ok, I’m way off track lol. Wtf does this have to do with a silver lining?! Lol yeah, I tend to lose track sometimes.

So what’s the silver lining?! Hello! Fucking burger king OOBBVVVV!!! I even got another whopper to go, I mean it’s only right, it was 2 for 7 deal, that’s basically like buy one get one free!! Oh well that and the fact that a man is on the fast track to shitting in a bag and is still being an incredible human being, still smiling and laughing and radiating amazing energy! Can’t control the situation your in but you sure can control how you feel about it! So I learned a little something from him. Put my “whoa is me” issues really into perspective.

So now imma eat this second whopper, enjoy the fuck out of it, and ponder how amazing I have it!

Peace!

Ok, so I missed a few days. I said I would blog once a day with a new lesson I learned that day, turns out it’s a lot more time consuming than I thought. So what am I gonna do about it? I’m just gonna keep working on it. What am I NOT gonna do? Beat myself up over it, degrade myself, use negative language, feel bad about it, or generally turn it into a negative. I did what I did and I didn’t do what I didn’t do… And that’s the end of it.

So now, without further ado, the lesson of the day :

Do you invest in stocks? Well for those that do, what your doing is investing in someone else and their company. So why not invest in yourself? What kind of return on investment would you get if you invested the time and/or the money into yourself compared to that company? Do you have an idea that’s dancing around in your head of something you’ve always wanted to do? Then why not put the money into it and see what kind of returns you’ll get? Is there a side hustle you’ve always wanted to start up? Maybe something you’re passionate about that makes you smile when you think about it? Well, what if it took off and started generating massive income? Hell, what if it didn’t but made you feel excited to wake up every morning to work on it? What would they be worth to you? Isn’t that really the point of living? Isn’t it the point of making money in the first place? Money itself doesn’t make one happy, it’s what that money can buy. And usually, we’re trying to buy happiness. Well what if that investment bypasses the money and goes right for the happiness and excitement, wouldn’t it be worth it? Wouldn’t it be worth more than a million bucks in your account? Wouldn’t it be priceless? Cause if money bought happiness, wouldn’t the richest country in the world also be the happiest? It would, right? But it’s not. There’s a weird relationship between money and happiness. Happiness is directly proportional to the amount of money you make to a certain point, and then around the 80k mark, it takes a weird turn becoming inversely proportional, where the more money you make the LESS happy you are! So invest in yourself like your a fortune 500 company where ROI is happiness and excitement, and if you happen to make money as a byproduct, well that’s even better!!

Lesson of the day:

Even though to you something might be clear as day, through someone else’s perspective, it’s might be clear as mud.

I’ll elaborate. Today I met up for my biweekly meeting with my men’s group. We played this game that’s designed to make you see and experience empathy for another. There’s many levels of play and the one we started off with involved a guide, a builder, a curator, and a bunch of observers. The curator builds an object with a certain number of wooden parts, gives that to the guide who’s blindfolded, who has to feel and describe that object to the builder who’s also blind folded, who must then build it. Sounds easy, right? Not so much. It’s meant to teach you a lot about yourself and others.

So what did it teach me?? Well many things but the one I’ll focus on is that when your an observer from the outside, some things seem so simple and so obvious. Like you want to yell out in frustration cause it’s so simple, it’s all right there, why can’t they see it?! Well that’s exactly it, THEY CAN’T SEE IT!! Their perspective is not yours.

The other big thing happened when one person set up one piece wrong, believed it was right, and even though the guide asked him repeatedly if it was in that position, he kept repeating that it was, but really it wasn’t. So how does that happen? Well the builder was listening but just wasn’t hearing what the guide was saying. He already checked it off in his mind that it was right and moved on, closed his mind to the fact that there’s a chance it might not be. It was right and that’s the end of it. Never going back to consider that maybe it’s not and he should double check. How many times do we do that in life?! Idunno about you but for me it’s many! Many many many times.

As an observer it’s even more frustrating cause your seeing this happen and can’t do anything about it, wondering how the fuck is this person getting this so wrong right now?! Wanting to scream at them but can’t. But it’s crazy to see how it all plays out. It symbolizes how we really are with each other in life. We talk from our own perspective, blind to what the other person sees or experiences. They do their thing based on what we’re saying but that’s also coming from a blind perspective, only focusing out what we experience. Miscommunications, frustration, misunderstanding, and no matter how many times someone is saying something that we think we got and move on, we’re not really fully listening to what their saying from a clear open mind, from nothing. Cause only from nothing can there truly be something.

Lesson of the day:

Make your plans as if they will be executed exactly as you made them, and when they don’t, go with whatever ended up happening instead.

There’s an old religious saying that goes… “I plan and you plan and God makes his own plan”. In more modern times, this translates to the universe making it so things go a certain way, and that way is always in your favour. Now, what’s the catch? Well, you have to make A plan, whatever it is, and begin to execute. That’s really the only requirement. The plan puts it out there into the universe. The action moves it along to where it will eventually need to be. It’s like planning a trip. Decide where you wanna go. Get in the car and drive the route you wanted to drive. But if a detour comes along, just go with it. Choose it as a choice and not as a decision that you begrudgingly make. You gain your power and build a new experience. And you never know what kinda cool-ass shit you’ll experience along the way.

“I’m not where I wanted to be but I’m exactly where I needed to be”

Why didn’t I think about this before?! Million dollar question, right? I mean how many times do we say that in a lifetime?

So I wanna write more, I wanna blog more, I wanna say more. I wanna spread the word on whatever lessons I’ve learned in this lifetime in hopes that it reaches one person, touches one person, transforms one person’s life on this planet (or whatever planet it’s being read on). We can’t believe that our struggles and triumphs are for nothing, they’re not. There’s a purpose. Mostly they’re vehicles of transport to some next level of the game. The game of life I mean. The most interesting and immersive game we can possibly play.

So what’s stopping me? Well, I am. I’m the only person that ever stops me. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “you’re your own worst enemy”. Well it’s reality. But it’s not “me” that’s stopping me. It’s 10k years of evolution, or lack thereof. Our brains aren’t wired for this world we live in. They’re wired for a life that doesn’t exist anymore. And herein lies the problem. In order to succeed in this life, we have to battle the past. We have to battle evolution, genes, DNA. And that’s a tough battle. A battle we usually lose, cause we don’t even know we’re fighting it. Cause how can you ever win a game when you don’t even know your playing? How can you win a fight if you don’t even know your fighting? The odds are stacked against us. A very fortunate few ever wake up from the matrix to realize their reality. The kicker… If/when you do, you’ll find that you’ve cleansed the doors of perception to a point that you can’t ever turn back. So what’s wrong with that? Well, reality out of the matrix is terrifying as it is exciting. A roller-coaster of sorts. You’ve all seen The Matrix. Well, reality isn’t far off.

So why fight? The battle is too hard, right? Well… Sorta, but not really. The battle itself is tough. Just like anything new. I graduated chemical engineering, and the first couple years were a nightmare. Math… Wow! There was this one course at the end of the program that put it all into perspective. I’ll backtrack a touch though.

So the first year of the program I was still driving back and forth between the city I was in school and where I lived and grew up. I worked at my dads’ variety store at nights helping out. And this old man would come in every night. He looked and smelled homeless. Always wanted to trade whatever he had for a pack of smokes. Sometimes if he brought something in that was of value I’d take him up on the offer. But most times he would just come in and chat for a bit and leave. One day he comes in and asks me…. “So how’s school going young buck?” I tell him I’m frustrated with the math, after all its useless. When am I gonna need to know calculus?! He replies with… “wow you just don’t get it, do you?” “Get what?” I say. “Why they’re teaching how to solve these difficult math problems that seem useless”. “No, clearly I don’t get it, cause it’s useless”. “They’re not teaching to you so you can learn it!” OK so obviously now I’m super confused. “So if it’s not to learn calculus then why the fuck are they wasting my time with it?!” “They’re teaching how to learn!” That was like… Whoa! Some karate kid shit. Some situations and lessons in life seem like… Why on earth would I need to go through this, it’s bullshit! But what’s happening is life is prepping you, teaching you something, and most times the lesson has nothing to do with the subject. Messed up right? Yeah, very. But true.

So back to the story. Last semester of chemical engineering and there’s one course, chemical engineering formulations. This class is so ridiculously hard that it takes 3 days to solve one equation and it starts off with only letters and the end result is one number. It’s mind-boggling. Hardest course I’ve ever taken. So what was the result? I ace the course with an A. In fact that was the only semester I ever got straight A’s. The last and hardest semester. So how does that work? All the bullshit of the last few years struggling, getting beat down, stressing, served to make me smarter, able to take on even the most difficult equations and solve them with relative ease. But there was no way I was gonna even have a fighting chance if I didn’t go through the most intense of struggle, what seemed like endless losing battles, only to conquer in the end.

OK, so what’s the point of all this? Well, I’ve been through enough shit in this life that I have stories to share, lessons to be learned. And I want to share them. So what I plan on doing to get my writing muscle going is to write every day. Now how do I get the time for that? Well, easy. I’m not going to write long-winded blogs like I normally do. I mean I still will when I have a story to tell (and I have a whole bunch saved up but can’t write them now as a certain someone is reading this). So instead, in going to a “Lesson of the Day” blog posted daily. Or at least as daily as possible lol. We’ll see how that turns out. Either way, it’ll be fun. It’ll be something I’ve learned that day, or something I’ve been pondering over some time and came to some realization. It’ll also serve to open my eyes to the lesson that the universe is teaching me that day or has been trying for some time without success.

There’s a really good line in a book called The 5th Mountain by Paulo Cohelo that goes something like (and I’m paraphrasing)… There are stages in life we must go through, lessons to be learned, and then on to the next stage. When we get stuck in one stage for too long, the universe has a way of shaking the shit out of our world and making sure that we leave that stage for the next. I believe those stages are endless. The only limiting factor for experiencing a massive amount of stages is our life capacity.

Which bring me to the lesson of the day. Life capacity.

I Beleive that the amount of life that’s allotted to us is in direct correlation to the purpose of our life. The more use there is for us, the longer our lifespan. So why do we die early? That life has so far served no purpose and is showing no signs of any purpose to be served in the future. After all, life/the world/the universe is all about efficiency. And it’s not efficient to support a life when it’s serving no purpose. That’s like the random guy on the couch. And yes I’ve had that. A friend of my roommates that was supposed to only stay for a week or so to get back on his feet. Well, that week or so ended up being 6 months. Not paying rent, not working, not even earning his keep and doing things around the house. In fact, all he did was smoke weed and make the house messier. Fuck he wouldn’t even clean up after himself. So the time came when he served no purpose. He was not contributing to the rent and wasn’t contributing to anything that would improve our living situation. So he had to go. And out he went. And in the same way, this plant and this life evicts us when we no longer serve a purpose that benefits the planet/the universe/mankind/animal kind….or whatever. Obv in not clear on the details, but a general observation. And I know this sounds a little controversial as there was some badass people living a super long life and some amazing people dying early. But I don’t think it has anything to do with how nice you are, nice is a story, it’s subjective. I think it’s factual, objective, without morals or beliefs. Only what’s best for the planet or mankind or the universe or…. Idunno.

So there you have it. Ok next one won’t be as long 😜